innernet

At dinner Sarah was telling Alan about her day at school and the movie they watched about being safe on the Internet. We didn't realize she was saying "Innernet" until she asked Alan, "Daddy, where's the outernet?" Well, where is it?

upside this

Sarah just handed Alan her inside-out nightgown and said, "Can you upside this out?"

money

Yesterday when I picked Sarah up from her primary class she excitedly told me, "I learned about money today, and not to hide it!" I thought this was a strange lesson until I saw her coloring paper entitled "I have many talents." Ahhhh, the parable of the talents. It all became clear.

show and tell

This morning Sarah says over breakfast that it's her turn to bring something for show and tell and it's supposed to start with the letter "F". (Why does she tell me these things when she only has 10 minutes until she has to go and I haven't done her hair yet? ) So Alan and I are brain-storming and she isn't enthralled with our ideas. "How about fish? I have a thawed salmon steak in the fridge." "Or a fly, there's a dead one in the living room window." Then Alan came up with a Japanese fan. Here was a winner. Something she isn't allowed to normally handle, which is pretty and starts with the letter "f". Next we had to find a paper bag to put it in and come up with 3 clues she could share with her class. All went well and she was off to school only 2 minutes later than usual.

things she said that made us laugh

Here are a couple of things Sarah has said today:
"Daddy, when I cough the germs get in my mouth and they're all stuck together." Alan explained the whole mucus thing.
Sarah is wearing a Christmas outfit today including socks with jingle bells on them. She said, "I took a nap. At first I jingled my bells but then I didn't jingle anymore."

that's silly

Just now at dinner Sarah asked me if I knew as much as Daddy. "No," I replied. Alan said, "Mommy knows more about some things and I know more about other things. Some things we both know. Like about stock car races." I said, "Yeah, we both know that a) it's stupid and" Alan finished with "b) there's nothing else to know." Sarah laughed and said, "You're silly mommy. "a" isn't stupid."

Not supposed to say

Ever since she was potty trained, Sarah has been very free and open about her actions in the toilet and the results thereof: "Mommy, I made...three poopies! Two little and one big." Our response has historically been to provide a brief acknowledgement and encourage her to wash up.

As the time for kindergarten drew near, it began to dawn on us that if we did not provide some correction, she would soon be announcing the details of her lavatorial experiences to her teacher and perhaps the entire class. So Shannon gave her instructions recently to be more discreet; specifically, she should not tell people what she produced during her potty break. This is now the rule at home too.

So yesterday, she went upstairs to visit the toilet. After a while, she called downstairs to me, "Daddy, I went to the potty and I made..." Then a pause as she considered the new rule. "In my head I am thinking 'poopies' but I'm not supposed to say it," she finished.

favorite animal

Today I was doing a get-to-know-you page for Sarah's kindergarten. I asked Sarah what her favorite animal was. "Pigs. Because they make hot dogs and hot dogs are my favorite food." Hmmm, I guess that works.

webs

This morning Sarah was sitting in the office while Alan got ready for work. She saw the word search and said, "S, E, A, R, C, H. That's spelling like Sarah." Alan agreed and told her it was the word "search" and that it meant to look for something. She read further, "Search the web. That's silly. You can't search the web. Only spiders can do that!"
So I guess I'm a spider.

a funny think

Today at lunch Sarah started giggling. I asked her what she was laughing at and she replied, "I'm laughing because I'm having a funny think."

if you could save time in a bottle...

Me: "Do you want me to clean up doggy poops?"
Alan: "That would save me time." (He is going to mow the lawn.)
Sarah: "You can't save time, ha ha!"

that's disgusting

Sarah just came into the office to find Alan examining his toes. Sarah asked, "What are you doing Daddy?" "Looking at my feet." To which she replied, "That's disgusting."

a fishy tale

Yesterday we had salmon for dinner. Alan said, "That fish smells good." Sarah said, "I think the fish smells good too, but the fish does not think so."

I suppose the smell of your own flesh cooking wouldn't smell that good.

just too tired

Last night as we were going to bed I heard Sarah saying something I couldn't make out so I went into her room to see what she needed. I asked her if she wanted me to get her down so she could go to the bathroom and she sort of said yes so I pulled her out of her bed and helped her get to the bathroom where she dutifully went. After she was done she went back into her room and about 2 feet from her bed she just suddenly sat down. I stopped right behind her and after a couple of seconds she laid down on the floor and was clearly sound asleep. Laughing I went back to get Alan and he lifted her up and put her back in her own bed. Clearly climbing up to the top bunk was just too much work for a good night's sleep.

playing dead

I could hear Sarah talking in her room and so I asked her what she was doing. She said,"I'm playing dead." (Imagine me with a blank confused look.) All I could say was "what?" Sarah repeated, "I'm playing dead. I'm pretending to be dead and the beds in my room are clouds and you are the little child." And you thought only possoms could play this game.

a bad think

Today for some unknown reason Sarah said, "Mommy I'm having a bad think." Unsure of what she was thinking I said, "I'm sorry Sarah. Why don't you change it to a good thought." She responded, "I will say a prayer to Heavenly Father. I will not say a voice prayer, I will say a prayer in my head." And she did. And that was the end of the bad think.

One one thing at a time

While we were kneeling down for family prayer this morning I said I had a doctor's appointment today and Sarah asked if she could go. I said yes at which point she said she didn't want to go. Naturally I then asked why she had asked to go if she didn't want to go in the first place. Alan, who was late for work, suggested she think about it and asked if she would like to say the family prayer. Sarah responded that she can't think and talk at the same time and couldn't possibly say the prayer today.

thinking

Today Sarah tapped Alyssa's temple and said, "I'm helping her think."

I wish someone would help me think.

Vox purpli

I was driving the girls home after visiting Shannon and Alyssa in the hospital today. Sarah apparently had been working out her best shot at the Random Question of the Day, because she suddenly queried, "Daddy, what color is your voice?"

I wasn't sure I heard that right, but upon my request she repeated the question. Now, I've learned from experience a bit about how to respond to questions that don't seem to be founded on aspects of my daily reality: I acknowledge the question and then return it. It often helps to clarify exactly what the person had in mind when they asked. So, in this case I responded, "That's a good question Sarah; I'm not sure I've thought about that before. What color do you think your voice is?"

"Well, I think it's kind of yellowish."

So I guess she did mean to ask what the color of my voice was. "I suppose my voice is probably dark blue...or dark green. Probably dark green," I said. "What color do you think Mommy's voice is?"

"Pink. And Emmie's is brown."

So, sorry, Shannon, we're mostly a warm-color family.

Last night at dinner...

After a thousand or more questions, many of which had obvious or no answers available (like why does Emmie like milk, why are you setting the table, and when are we going to bring Alyssa home) Alan told Sarah that we would not answer any more questions until after dinner. She turned to him and said, "But Honey, if I don't ask any more questions my body will get angry."

Ahhh, so that's why they ask questions. It's a method of anger management. Someone should get their PHD on this.