Sarah's Home Rules

Sarah wrote this list of Home Rules a few weeks ago. It's taken me this long to post them because I think the list makes me sound like a bad mother, but I need to be humble and they are amusing so here they are for your reading pleasure.(Typed exactly how she wrote them.)
1. No yelling
2. Obey your mother
3. Be good
4. Don't run away
5. Don't be naughty
6. Help one another
7. Don't tire your mother
8. Don't ask to many questions
9. Don't bother your mother
10. Don't be bossy

things she said tonight

While brushing her teeth she said to Alan, "Don't watch me, I've got a trick up my sleeve."

In the car she was chattering non-stop (literally) asking questions and generally being a chatterbug. "Why do we need to eat? Why do we have a bum bum? Why do we have to breath?" Finally there was a 5 second pause... "I can't think of what to say." I replied, "Then don't say anything. You don't have to talk all the time. It's nice to be quiet sometimes."
To which she responded, "Why don't you say something."
"I don't have anything to say."
"You can't think of something to say?"
"Nope."
"Why don't you think of something and then you will have something to say."

Bibbity Bobbity Boo

The other night I had forgotten to have Sarah do her asthma breathing treatment. So I took the little plastic thingy that gives her a dose to inhale upstairs to her bedroom when I was going to bed. She was sooo asleep and I couldn't seem to wake her. I rubbed her back and talked to her and tried to get her to sit up all to no avail. Finally she sat up and I explained that she needed to do her breathing thing. "Okay," she mumbled and raising her hands slightly she said, "Bibbity boppity boo. There." and laid right back down and went to sleep. Even with my laughing it took several more minutes to wake her again.

Sarah is bossy

Sarah was playing school with her Grandma Paulsen. Sarah said, "I'll be the teacher and you have to obey my commandments." Grandma told her something about maybe rules should be used instead of commandments. Sarah responded that she needed them to be commandments because she wanted Emmie to obey her.

a list

I found this list Sarah had made. No idea why she wrote it but I liked it.

1. Lern Things
2. Be good
3. Drink water
4. Share
5. Obey
6. Don't be bad
7. Be polite
8. Use your manners
9. Love
10. pray
11. Obey the word of wisdom
12. Write

And that is exactly how she wrote them too.

figured out

Yesterday the whole family had the stomach flu. Alan was the slowest to feel gross and was a huge help in the morning. By afternoon he was gross and went to lie down during nap time. Sarah woke up and came downstairs where I was resting on the couch. "I see Dad is resting in bed." "Yes," I said, "he isn't feeling well." "Oh," she said, "so he finally figured it out."

doctors doctors and more doctors

When Sarah woke up after coughing all night Saturday morning she was wheezing quite a bit. So away we went to the doctor's office. While we were waiting Sarah was observing the receptionist. The receptionist had a ear piece to talk on the phone. After a few minutes she said to me, "That lady is talking to her computer." Clearly she thought the woman was unbalanced and shouldn't be around a place trying to help people get well. I digress. Finally we were seen by a doctor who listened to her and congratulated us on our soon to be purchase of a nebulizer. She had two breathing treatments there and we went home. Well we went home after stopping at Carls Jr. and ShopKo. Five minutes after getting and giving her the medication on the way home, Sarah threw up. Oh well. She took a nap and then we redosed her with the steriod to help keep her lungs open. Jump forward several hours. Time for baths. 8:00. Sarah goes to the bathroom and squeals because it hurts to go potty. Great. 8:00 is when all the clinics and urgent care places close. After talking to the on-call doctor we drove to the emergancy room in Payson. We arrived home at 10:30 where we gave her another breathing treatment and a bunch more medication before finally putting her to bed. Sarah is the one who likes to take a common cold and turn it into a viral lung wheezing episode and then visit the ER the same day for a bladder infection. Today in her journal she wrote, "I am sick. I went to a hospetlle that I've never been to before. None of it hurt. It was fun!"

gradulation

Yesterday was Sarah's kindergarten graduation or "gradulations" as Emmie called it. I never had this sort of thing and I don't feel bad about it either. It reminds me of Mr. Incredible when confronted by his wife about not wanting to go to Dash's graduation. "He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade! They keep finding new ways to celebrate meritocracy!" Seriously though, it was cute. They sang a bunch of choreographed songs and there was a short slide show featuring the children. Sarah was in the front row which was great because of how expressive she is when she sings. The best part was getting to take her home afterwards and being done with school for a whole summer! I love having her home. Her report card (which is another joke) had a note from her teacher letting us know she's reading on a level "N". This isn't actually all that helpful for parents unless they've been teachers before. She's reading on late 3rd grade level. (The letters allow for the reading levels to be broken down into smaller steps within a grade level.) She started the year on a level "K" so we're happy she's progressed.

gravity

Yesterday at lunch I was trying to get the last of the applesauce out of the jar and said something like, "Come on gravity, do your job." A few minutes later as Sarah was eating her applesauce she said, "I think that gravity is broken."

Mt. St. Sarah

"Let's play volcano. I'll be the volcano. Let's pretend I'm interrupting. That means I'm alive and pulling out rocks."

We'll see

After lunch today Sarah asked Shannon if the girls could have cake after their naps, and Shannon replied, "We'll see." Immediately Sarah asked, as with sudden realization, "Is 'we'll see' another word for 'no'?"

At Walmart

Before we went to Walmart I asked Sarah if she needed to go to the bathroom and encouraged her to go but no...
So at Walmart...
"My body is telling me it has to go potty but I am telling it not now because we are at Walmart. I asked it if it had to go at home but it didn't but then it made potties and now it says it has to go. (A few minutes later) My potties are growling at me. (We were on the way to the bathroom here.) My potties are like a monster that is growling and telling me it has to get out."

innernet

At dinner Sarah was telling Alan about her day at school and the movie they watched about being safe on the Internet. We didn't realize she was saying "Innernet" until she asked Alan, "Daddy, where's the outernet?" Well, where is it?

upside this

Sarah just handed Alan her inside-out nightgown and said, "Can you upside this out?"

money

Yesterday when I picked Sarah up from her primary class she excitedly told me, "I learned about money today, and not to hide it!" I thought this was a strange lesson until I saw her coloring paper entitled "I have many talents." Ahhhh, the parable of the talents. It all became clear.

show and tell

This morning Sarah says over breakfast that it's her turn to bring something for show and tell and it's supposed to start with the letter "F". (Why does she tell me these things when she only has 10 minutes until she has to go and I haven't done her hair yet? ) So Alan and I are brain-storming and she isn't enthralled with our ideas. "How about fish? I have a thawed salmon steak in the fridge." "Or a fly, there's a dead one in the living room window." Then Alan came up with a Japanese fan. Here was a winner. Something she isn't allowed to normally handle, which is pretty and starts with the letter "f". Next we had to find a paper bag to put it in and come up with 3 clues she could share with her class. All went well and she was off to school only 2 minutes later than usual.

things she said that made us laugh

Here are a couple of things Sarah has said today:
"Daddy, when I cough the germs get in my mouth and they're all stuck together." Alan explained the whole mucus thing.
Sarah is wearing a Christmas outfit today including socks with jingle bells on them. She said, "I took a nap. At first I jingled my bells but then I didn't jingle anymore."

that's silly

Just now at dinner Sarah asked me if I knew as much as Daddy. "No," I replied. Alan said, "Mommy knows more about some things and I know more about other things. Some things we both know. Like about stock car races." I said, "Yeah, we both know that a) it's stupid and" Alan finished with "b) there's nothing else to know." Sarah laughed and said, "You're silly mommy. "a" isn't stupid."

Not supposed to say

Ever since she was potty trained, Sarah has been very free and open about her actions in the toilet and the results thereof: "Mommy, I made...three poopies! Two little and one big." Our response has historically been to provide a brief acknowledgement and encourage her to wash up.

As the time for kindergarten drew near, it began to dawn on us that if we did not provide some correction, she would soon be announcing the details of her lavatorial experiences to her teacher and perhaps the entire class. So Shannon gave her instructions recently to be more discreet; specifically, she should not tell people what she produced during her potty break. This is now the rule at home too.

So yesterday, she went upstairs to visit the toilet. After a while, she called downstairs to me, "Daddy, I went to the potty and I made..." Then a pause as she considered the new rule. "In my head I am thinking 'poopies' but I'm not supposed to say it," she finished.

favorite animal

Today I was doing a get-to-know-you page for Sarah's kindergarten. I asked Sarah what her favorite animal was. "Pigs. Because they make hot dogs and hot dogs are my favorite food." Hmmm, I guess that works.